Stop Comparing Yourself to Others #SelfLove

At the start of the year, I was a woman on a mission. 2017 was going to be the year I got my mojo back, the year I would feel normal again, and the year I would dedicate to the personal development of my mind, body, and soul.

I’ve already made positive progress towards nurturing my mental and physical health. However, during my mindfully-infused sessions where I take the time to learn and grow, I’ve noticed an uncomfortable trend – comparison. We all do it, but it’s in varying degrees of intensity. I’ve often wished that I could live in a warm country like my hugely successful cousin, Becky. Or that I drove a super sexy Land Rover Evoque like my bestie, Liz. These are the kind of comparisons that are merely fleeting thoughts rather than crippling destruction for our self-esteem. I love these thoughts because they shape my ambitions. I want to earn enough to buy a lovely car, and I want to travel to interesting places.

In January I bought a

Top 10 Tips to Get Motivated for Christmas

I’m typing up this post as the rain hammers against the window. My cat is curled up in my ‘in’ tray, and I’ve accumulated several empty mugs as I make coffee after coffee in a bid to stay warm.

Yesterday, I realised we only have a few weeks until Christmas, and I haven’t even started to think about buying gifts, sending cards, or arranging various seasonal events. My regular gym sessions have also dwindled to an ‘hmm, I’ll go tomorrow,' and my healthy eating regime now involves far too many Jaffa cakes (they’re orange, so technically they count as your five a day, don’t they?).

When it’s cold and wet, our motivation to get even the most basic tasks done isn’t as powerful as it was in the warmer months. Looking out of the window this morning I knew I’d be staying in the comfort of my writing cave for the day.  

However, Christmas looms, and if I want to prepare that delicious turkey dinner, eat copious amounts of mince pies, and delight my family with thoughtful gifts, then I need to get organised. So, how am I going to do it when my motivation has shrivelled up in the cold?

I’ve got a few tips to help motivate you at this time of year:

Top 5 Tips for Small Business Networking

Networking is a relatively new thing for me. When I ran my holistic health business, I worked five days and two evenings a week, so any spare time I had I divided between family, friends, and my writing. Attending any of the networking groups in my local area was an impossibility. Once I closed that business and focused on my books and blog content, I discovered a necessity to get out from the home office and speak to another human being.

Working from home, in any capacity, has a host of benefits, from holding a conference call in your pyjamas, to saving hours on a long commute. Many mums are starting small businesses from their kitchen table to enable them to keep childcare costs to a minimum and reap the advantages of being around for their child’s early years.

With the influx of mumpreneurs, the need for friendly and supportive networking groups is more important than ever. Women empower women; it’s a beautiful thing to witness and an even more satisfying thing to do, or indeed, receive.

The groups I attend primarily are targeted

What Does Happiness Mean To You? #MondayBlogs

I was invited to do a talk for a motivational group recently on the theme of ‘Heaven on Earth.' I spent a long time thinking about what that meant to me.

Eventually, I decided that happiness was the one thing that gave me contentment. But sometimes we think that happiness is out of our reach – it’s something to work towards – a goal if you like.

When I’m at home, and I talk about setting goals, I can see my kid’s eyes begin to glaze over. ‘Oh god, she's off on one of her hippie trips again!’

That’s okay; they’re young. Goals aren’t as important to them. For them, happiness is already a huge part of their life; they don’t need to think about setting goals to achieve it.

What's Your Favourite Inspirational Quote? #wwwBlogs

If you scroll down any social media feed you will find an abundance of memes with a variety of quotes – some are inspirational, some humorous, and some are very thought provoking.

I share quite a few of these on my Resolution Challenge Facebook page. Not because it fits my personal needs – although, some days these affirmations have been spot on! – I share them in the hope that they’ll help someone else.

When I ran my holistic health business, my clients were always at the forefront of my mind. If I read an inspiring article, I would save it as I knew it might resonate with one of my ladies. When I heard about a new meditation class or spiritual workshop, I would forward the details to the people I knew would enjoy these events.

Project You! Abandon the To-Do List

Project You!

Week 3: Avoid Goal Setting and Abandon the To-Do List

Last week we looked at how to stop feeling guilty, you can read that post HERE.

Today, I want to talk about NOT setting goals. Don’t adjust your monitor; I did just suggest that you avoid goal setting – me, the queen of resolutions!

Over the past year, I’ve had to abandon some challenges due to my health; it was upsetting and unnerving as I saw this as a ‘failure.' As the year rolled by, I began to understand the importance of living without a purpose.

My to-do list was, and still is but in a much smaller scale, a great comfort to me. I love a schedule and a deadline, and I find it helpful to run the household events/tasks using a paper diary and calendar.

However, how often have you looked at your to-do list and felt defeated? Not because you haven’t managed to tick off all the tasks but because you find those particular duties hold no meaning. It’s just ‘stuff to do’ instead of activities that drive your real goals forward.

Real Women, Real Lives - Meet Heather Von St.James, Mesothelioma Cancer Survivor

Real Women, Real Lives

We are surrounded by inspirational women on a daily basis, they are on the television the radio, or they've written the books we buy or the articles/blog posts we read.  It's easy to put a celebrity on a pedestal and desire their lifestyle, power and determination, but we don't need to turn to the glossy magazines, or the big screen, to find inspirational women who can motivate us to succeed.  They live next door, work alongside us, talk to us at the supermarket.

I wanted to highlight these incredible individuals on my blog.  Women who have succeeded on their chosen path, or turned misfortune into positivity.  Ladies who have conquered illness or gone above and beyond to help others and make a difference.  They are your friend, co-worker and neighbour.  I am honoured to be able to introduce a host of remarkable women for my new feature, Real Women, Real Lives.   Women who are happy to share their motivational journey and the inspiration behind their success.  I hope you enjoy this feature, and as always please feel free to leave us a comment below.

Meet Heather Von St.James, Mesothelioma Cancer Survivor.

For many of us, February is a cold and miserable month that must be suffered through to reach the bounty of Spring that follows.  Today, on my new feature, Real Women, Real Lives, I am joined by a special guest who has this February marked on her calendar as an exceptional month.

What Blogging Taught Me About Myself

As we start a New Year the smell of possibility and new challenges are in the air.  It’s amazing to think that three years ago, I wrote my first blog post.  A post that was to be the beginning of a new chapter in my life and one that would be the catalyst for a life-changing experience.

I have learned so much over the past three years, not just about how to blog, but about myself and who I want to be, and it all began with a list of New Year Resolutions.

What is a resolution? 

The English Oxford Dictionary describes it as, 'a firm decision and the quality of being determined.'

It was on New Year's Eve 2012 when I set myself a challenge; sick of setting resolutions and breaking them before the mince pies ran out, I decided to set a better example and so I wrote a list of twelve resolutions - one for each month of the year.

This list included the usual suspects - lose weight, get fit, iron less and laugh more but I also wanted to challenge myself.  I included things like, 'do something new', 'give up alcohol', 'give up Facebook (that one was tough!) and many more.

Having never blogged before I thought it would be a fun way to keep me motivated.  It also forced me to be accountable for my actions – a bit like having a diet buddy.  But I knew that I wanted to keep it real and blog the lows as well as the highs throughout the year.  

Positive Thinking Series - Taking it one step at a time

When I started this blog, it was to record the weekly activities of my yearlong challenge.  Fifty two challenges in fact; from weight loss to de-cluttering, and zip wires to novel writing competitions. 

 

Setting such a challenge would make anyone feel overwhelmed, I know I was!  Coping with any change in our life can also feel overpowering, such as quitting smoking, losing weight, redundancy or health issues. They all set up a mammoth task that can feel like it’s too much to handle.

To enable me to succeed in my fifty two challenges, I had to break this huge goal into small chunks.  I took it one month at a time.  January was all about weight loss.  In February, I concentrated on fitness.  March was a creative month, and so on.  Adopting this principle helped me see my goal as more achievable.

Positive Thinking Series - Believe in Yourself

The way we think has a powerful impact on our day-to-day lives.  Over the next couple of weeks, I will be looking at alternative thought patterns to inject a little positivity into your lives, and help achieve your goals.

Last week I talked about not being alone and having a cheerleading squad to help you.  You can read that post HERE.

Believe in Yourself

Self-doubt is a huge problem for many women, myself included.  As soon as you begin to achieve or follow a life-long dream, that little voice inside your head speaks up.  Normally it says something like ‘you’re not good enough’, or ‘everyone will laugh at you’. 

When we hear it we have two options; we can give in, listen to it and hide away, or we can believe in ourselves.  As Susan Jeffers would say, feel the fear and do it anyway.

Coping With Email Overload

My life has taken an unexpected detour over the past couple of weeks. In fact this detour is more of a sharp swerve around a hairpin bend on two wheels, however, as I’m always up for a challenge, I am trying to take everything in my stride.

The house is in need of a damn good clean, and the ironing pile is so high I think I spotted a mountain goat teetering on the top.  As well as this, my inbox is bulging at its electronic seams.

My kids have been incredibly helpful and have occasionally thrown the vacuum around in a haphazard motion.  They have also flicked the yellow duster lightly over the furniture – regardless of if it was wooden or not – they are ‘helping’ I must not complain!

Taking Comfort from an Inspirational Quote

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  It’s a quote we have all heard a million times over but when your life has truly given you lemons, it can be quite comforting to read.

Last week I shared '7 Inspirational Reads' with you.  For this week’s post, I’m going to share some of the most amazing quotes and affirmations that have got me through some of the worst days. 

Feel free to share your favourites in the comments below.

7 Books To Inspire You



Reading is not, in my opinion, a luxury, but a necessity.  When we are young, it is our gateway to everything we are about to learn during our school days.  As we reach our teens, it often becomes an escape from the schedules and demands.  Then we ‘grow up’ and time takes over, life becomes so busy and reading slides down the to-do list faster than that first glass of Chardonnay on a Friday night.

 

For many people, this isn’t the case, and reading is still a huge part of their lives.  I am one of these people.  Not having a book in my hand is unthinkable.  But a few years ago I couldn’t find any comfort in reading.  Stress and anxiety had its hold over me, and I couldn’t sit still long enough to focus on the words. 

Interview with Peter Jones, author of How To Do Everything And Be Happy.

Last week I spoke about using self-help tools to heal yourself, and in particular the use of motivational and inspirational books.

On occasion you will come across a book that has the potential to change your life.  I have a shelf full of self-help books, but there are the odd one or two that I recommend to everyone I know.  Why?  Because these books changed me at my core and made me think about how I live and what I can do to improve my environment/life/career.

Today I am joined by Peter Jones, author of How To Do Everything And Be Happy - one of the outstanding books that changed my life.

Create A Monthly Care Plan To Achieve Success

Over the past two weeks, we’ve looked at using a Daily Practice and Weekly Intentions to achieve our goals and stay motivated.

If you’ve been following my series of posts about staying on track with your resolutions, goals or challenges, then you will be well on your way to success.  Your daily practices will be as routine as brushing your teeth, and the list of weekly intentions will be driving your goal forward.  This week I am going to share tips on creating a Monthly Care Plan. 

When I started my blog in 2013 – and subsequently wrote my book, How I Changed MyLife in a Year – I had to create a monthly plan to inspire me to succeed, month-after-month.

As with any goal, you will only achieve success if you are 100% committed.  Alongside the commitment comes planning.

Let me ask you a question – what have you achieved in your life that made you felt great?  Big or small, it doesn’t matter, just remember the feeling that washed over you and settled in your stomach; it’s called pride.

Making Weekly Intentions Will Help You Achieve Your Goals

Last week we looked at the advantages of including a ‘Daily Practice’ into our routine to help us achieve our goals.  You can read that post here.  Today I’m talking about ‘Weekly Intentions’.

We used 'running a marathon' as our example for last week so this week we'll look at another type of goal.  I know so many people who wanted to 'learn something new' as part of their resolution list.  It’s an admirable goal!  Keeping our brain active has huge benefits for our mind, body and soul.

So where do we start?  Let’s ask ourselves those all important questions:

1.      Why am I doing this?

2.      When am I doing this?

3.      What do I need to do to achieve success?

How to Stay on Track with Your Goals by Using a Daily Practice.

The majority of our New Year Resolutions, goals and aspirations fail because of a number of reasons; a lack of planning, not being fully committed or setting ourselves unattainable challenges.

It’s like we purposefully set ourselves up for a fall.  We don’t have to operate in this way.  Setting a challenge that may test us can be liberating and life changing.  Writing my book, How I Changed My Life in a Year taught me that.

Yes, we all scribble down a list of changes we want to make each year, and yes, be the end of the third week many of us have abandoned them.  I heard on the news this morning that today is the day our weight loss ambitions are discarded and we attack the biscuit tin!  If we looked at that list for a moment, we might see the reason:

What's Your Power Word of the Day?

Last week I talked about leaving behind the rigidity of goal setting to allow for the relaxed beauty of ‘flow setting’.  You can read that post here.

Today I want to introduce you to a new motivational past time that I stumbled upon whilst writing up last week’s post. 

 

It’s no secret that I adore journaling.  My home and office are full to the rafters with pretty notebooks, matching pens and folders.  ‘My name is Shelley and I am addicted to Stationery!’

So, as I spent a luxurious hour on Pinterest, my ‘super-stationery-senses’ were activated when I found a link to the seaweedkisses blog.  Michelle’s beautiful page is dedicated to her passion for journaling.  As well as sharing her tips, she invites us to take a sneak peek into the notebooks, journals and organisers from people all over the world.

Before I go on, I want to set the scene of just how excited I was to find this site.  First of all, let me ask you a question.  Who has watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)?  That’s the one with Sean Connery in it.

Who Said That?

From the old wives tales that our grandparents taught us, to a business mantra that is tossed around the boardroom, we all know one or two quotes that have inspired us.


For me, a motivational quote can be used to boost my own self esteem, or passed on to one of my holistic clients.  Enhancing well-being and inspiring someone to succeed can be as simple as passing on a brief sentence.

We all know that words can harm or heal, I choose to live my life on the healing path and as such I pass on the inspirational quotes and mantras that I've collected over the years.

How To Live a Life Full of Motivation

Life can swerve in a different direction at any point, sometimes you are ready for it but more often than not it flings you unceremoniously from a moving vehicle.

This is what happened to me, but as I look back I see that it wasn't a sudden swerve, more of a winding road that I didn't realise I could get off.

Getting back on track took a huge amount of patience and dedication but with the support of my family I did it. 
For seven years I was trapped in an emotionally and physically abusive marriage.  I was overweight, exhausted and miserable.  In 2004 I found the courage to leave, packing my two, three and five year old children in the car and driving away.