Project You - Learn To Let Go

Project You!

Week 5: Learn to let go.

Last time we looked at how self-love must start on the inside, you can read that post HERE. Today I want to talk about letting go of old emotions.

I’m one of the world’s worst for holding on to things from my past. I’ll admit that I’m getting better with age, and having a background in holistic health has certainly steered me down the right route, however, when our past is still impacting on our present then something needs to be done.

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you will have spotted the occasional post about my invisible illness and subsequent depression and anxiety. These are ongoing issues that I deal with in a variety of ways. Yesterday, for instance, I had my first EMMETT treatment, and it blew me away.

Today, I have woken up feeling human again – it’s been two years since I felt ‘normal.' A recurring theme that came up during my treatment was the tension in my neck, shoulders, and back (represents support issues). As a single parent to three teenage children, I guess it’s inevitable that I can feel unsupported on a day-to-day basis.

I’m sure many of you can recall a time when you tried to either ‘fix’ a friend or relative instead of sorting out your own health/emotional issues. I’m great in a crisis and can advise anyone on the perfect course of action, but if I need to turn that support around, I’m often unable to help myself.

The illness and depression have taught me to abandon any hope of being in control. It’s a doomed mission! Instead, I choose to be positive no matter what is thrown at me, and do you know what happens when I take this attitude? I started the process of healing.

My Open Letter to Depression

Dear Depression,

You have been in my life for far longer than I ever realised, skulking about in the shadows like a malevolent troll.  You slowly depleted my confidence and wiped the smile from my face, and yet all the time I thought I was to blame.  I believed that I was too weak, too boring, and too insignificant and I almost let you win.

You made me feel so lonely that I believed there was an invisible wall around me.  I began to feel discouraged by everything the future had to offer.  You got to me in so many ways; emotionally, physically and spiritually.  I could no longer find comfort in the things that once helped boost my wellbeing.  You cut me off from the beautiful world and laughed as I floundered in the choking fear that tried to drown me.

Maybe it was you that contributed to the physical pains I endure every day.  My muscles scream with every movement.  I ache all the time, I can’t sleep and I embark on moments on self-destruction with my diet, but I think you feed on these debilitating feelings.  You thrive on negative energy and found an inviting home in my suffering.

Getting Help With Anxiety from Harry Potter

As I type this post I should be hanging my head in shame, I have been MIA for several weeks and neglected my beloved motivational blog.  However, instead of the shame, I feel slightly exhilarated and refreshed.

Many of you know that November is a crazy writing month for me, as I partake in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month).  This year I chose to write the first draft of the final book in my young adult trilogy.  On November 17^th, I wrote my 52,000^th word and declared myself a winner!  I adore this competition; it is the perfect platform to keep me one hundred per cent motivated on my writing projects.  If only I could be this motivated all year round!

So as I uploaded my manuscript and watched as my word count was validated, I began to think about my blog content and the topics I want to look at over the coming months.  Confidence, organising your life and looking after yourself are the themes I will be exploring over December and into the New Year.  But, to write about confidence, and being organised, and before I can attempt to look after myself, I needed to do it, live it and become it.

Positive Thinking Series - You Are Not Alone

The way we think has a powerful impact on our day-to-day lives.  Over the next couple of weeks, I will be looking at alternative thought patterns to inject a little positivity into your lives, and help achieve your goals.

You are not alone.

I’ve written about finding your cheerleading squad before, and you can read that post HERE, but I must stress what an important factor it is for our positive outlook – we are not alone.  It can relate to any issue/event we are facing; divorce, weight-loss, depression, self-employment, becoming a parent/carer, grief. 

You may have found like-minded people who can support you already, if not, then prepare yourself.  All of the events I faced throughout my life enabled me to attract people in the same position.  Think about conversations you’ve had with strangers, you may have chatted with a fellow mother as you wait for your children’s swimming class to finish.  You briefly mention that you have anxiety and find out that your stories are very similar.

When I started my holistic health business back in 2008, I was amazed at how many single mothers I had on my client books.  It was like we all gathered in the same spot.  These ladies have become firm friends, and we have supported one another through divorce, life as a single parent, and getting back out there.

Recharging Your Mind, Body and Soul

When I was a child, I longed for the endless summer that held the promise of water fights, sleeping under the stars, and picnics on the lawn.  I don’t remember there being as much rain as we get nowadays, or maybe I’ve repressed that memory over the years.

I’m happy to say that my three children also enjoy the outdoorsy summer activities, and don’t spend six weeks attached to the various electrical gizmos that we have dotted around the house.

The school holidays always felt like an epic adventure, waiting to happen.  Maybe that’s the writer in me, or maybe the innocence of a child’s mind.  Whatever it was, I’ve tried for many years to recreate it, without any luck.

It appears that with the arrival of a mortgage, bills, job and children of my own, any childlike glee over the summer holidays packed its bags and went away.  Until now.

How Crafting Can Help With Wellbeing

A hobby, good book, or even a jigsaw can all soothe the soul when we are searching for a little calm in the swell of our day.

Crafting has, for a long time, been one of the go-to interests for creating the balance we crave.  Just look at the rise in popularity of the adult colouring books on the market.  I subscribe to Art Therapy, a weekly magazine packed with images waiting to be coloured in and displayed around the home.  As an avid meditator, this activity is perfect for me.  I can lose myself in the attention to detail and any disorder in my mind is replaced with a quietness that I can’t find anywhere else.

It’s not just colouring-in that can give you this release.  Take a look at the Stitch Links website, the home of therapeutic knitting since 2005.  They advocate the ‘use it or lose it’ strategy.  A belief that our brain, as well as our muscles, needs to learn something new to stay active.  When we learn a new skill we increase connections within our brain and this in turn can help strengthen our brain against such diseases as Alzheimer’s, depression or chronic pain.

15 Ways to Boost Your Well-Being

Writers' block is something I have never had to worry about.  I suffer from the opposite problem of having too much to write and no structure in place to streamline those thoughts.

However, as I was sitting at my laptop ready to type this week's post, I stopped.  I experienced that moment of emptiness with my fingertips hovering over the keys.  Not because I didn't know what to say, but for once in my life, I didn't know quite how to say it.

Allow me to explain.  This week has been a blessing for me, I love my holistic job and facilitated a successful workshop on creating vision boards.  I started my meditation classes up again for the new term and I completed the first edit on my debut fiction novel.  Just this morning I received a beautiful email telling me I had been nominated for another Blogger award (that's two in as many weeks) and a second email asking if I would like to be interviewed for a very prominent blog.  Fantastic!  Last week I checked the sales of my non-fiction book (How I Changed My Life in a Year - http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00KAAUE88) and found that I was still in the top 50 of Amazon best sellers for self-help and memoir.  Feedback continues to be positive and reviews have been incredible.