Tuesday, 22 September 2015

Positive Thinking Series - Believe in Yourself

The way we think has a powerful impact on our day-to-day lives.  Over the next couple of weeks, I will be looking at alternative thought patterns to inject a little positivity into your lives, and help achieve your goals.

Last week I talked about not being alone and having a cheerleading squad to help you.  You can read that post HERE.

Believe in Yourself

Self-doubt is a huge problem for many women, myself included.  As soon as you begin to achieve or follow a life-long dream, that little voice inside your head speaks up.  Normally it says something like ‘you’re not good enough’, or ‘everyone will laugh at you’. 
When we hear it we have two options; we can give in, listen to it and hide away, or we can believe in ourselves.  As Susan Jeffers would say, feel the fear and do it anyway.
Believing in ourselves doesn’t mean we are better than anyone else.  It can feel like we are on an ego trip if we say how proud we are of something we’ve achieved.  I have some friends on Facebook and Twitter, who run highly successful business (and homes), and they tell the world about it.  Not only does this cement their belief in their abilities and business savvy, but it encourages others to follow their lead and make necessary changes.  ‘I believe in myself’ is just the same as saying, ‘I’m worth it’.
It’s important to accept who you are, warts and all so that you can start to believe in yourself.  After my divorce, I spent many years getting to know who I was.  Not as a wife, mother or daughter, but as me.  What I discovered surprised me.  I was good company.
It took me a long time to stop putting everyone else first (a trait that every mother will understand), but it was vital to my self confidence and personal development.  I took the time to look after myself, physically, mentally and emotionally, and became a better parent and person for it.  When you feel good about yourself and your life, you’re more likely to attract success and opportunities to your door.
As a writer, the self-doubt monster slashes its razor sharp talons quite often in my direction.  I finish a project and re-read my work with horror.  Granted, some times this horror is warranted, and I need to chuck it all in the bin and start from scratch.  Other times, it’s just fear that rises and tries to thwart my attempts at making a living from what I love doing.

When I wrote How I Changed My Life in a Year, I was terrified.  I managed to hold onto the belief in myself as I was writing and editing it, but once it went live, I was a mess of nerves.  How do you combat those feelings?  I don’t think I ever did or have, got rid of them.  I’ve just learnt to understand them.  I had produced something I was extremely proud of.  I’d taught my children that if you put your mind to something, it can be accomplished.  I began to believe that what I’d produced would help women similar to myself. 
I was rewarded for my belief by hundreds of emails and messages via social media, telling me how much people resonated with my tale.  The incredible stories I heard from my readers all centered around a new-found belief in themselves, and I’d helped them to feel it.  It was a proud moment.

Remember to invest in yourself.  Look after ‘you’ first, whether that’s related to your health, wellbeing or lifestyle.  Adopt a new mantra, and tell yourself every day, ‘I’m worth it!’
I believe in you.


  1. This has really struck a chord. Chatting with my girlfriends about a wedding I was due to attend, I was bemoaning my lack of a 'posh frock'. One of them kindly offered me the loan of one, which I took up. However, when I tried on the dress - handmade from beautiful silk - I decided I couldn't wear because it was 'too good for me'. I gave it back, making some excuse about it being a bit of a tight fit.

    1. Thanks, Julia. We do tend to put ourselves down often, and yet, if you are anything like me, you will give out affirmations to all your friends and family, telling them how beautiful they are - why can't we do this for ourselves? Believe in yourself xxx

  2. Thank you for this great post. Women are really hard on themselves and it's hard to see others bravado on social media and feel like our life has worth. But it totally does!!! I always ask my friend a to tell me how life is and not the Instagram version. Great thoughts!!

    1. Thanks for your lovely comment. You are so right, we are all guilty of 'posting' an unrealistic lifestyle on social media - It's nice to be able to wear the real you around the ones we love. x

  3. And the truth is our children - and our peers - learn as much from how we handle failure as from how we handle success.