10 Things That Being a Mum Has Taught Me #Parenting

10 Things That Being a Mum Has Taught Me. 

When I was in my twenties, I was told I had a very slim chance of ever being a mum.  This news was utterly devastating to me as all I ever wanted was to have children of my own.  I believe it shaped my decision to marry an unsuitable man who already had children from a previous relationship. 

Fortunately, I did conceive, and although the doctors told me they didn’t believe I would go full term, my son ended up being two days late.  I then went on to have another two children and would have happily added to my brood had that unsuitable man been more…suitable!

Believing that motherhood would never be mine I was totally overwhelmed when I did finally hold my son for the first time.  That tiny bundle of happiness will be eighteen this year and that terrifies me more than the thought of giving birth. 

So what have I learnt over the years?  Here is my top ten:

Using Colour Me Beautiful to Boost Wellbeing

If you were to take a look at my wardrobe, you would see a plethora of black fabric.  Skirts, trousers, dresses and tops; all of them are black.  I don’t use my black clothing as a ‘think thin’ statement, and, fortunately, it isn’t because I attend a multitude of funerals, I just like wearing black.  I believe it may have something to do with my passion for the Gothic genre.  I do have the occasional flutter of blue, red and green, but I have to be in the right mood.

During my Resolution Challenge back in 2013, one of the hardest weeks for me was when, at my daughter’s request, I had to give up wearing black for an entire week.  Suffice to say it was highly entertaining and one of my hardest challenges.  You can read the post I wrote about it HERE.

So, when I signed up for a Colour Me Beautiful session with my mum, I was worried that black would be on my no-no list.  Fortunately, I am one of the lucky ones who can get away with it (phew!), but I was surprised at how much colour can change your total appearance.

Positive Thinking Series - You Are Not Alone

The way we think has a powerful impact on our day-to-day lives.  Over the next couple of weeks, I will be looking at alternative thought patterns to inject a little positivity into your lives, and help achieve your goals.

You are not alone.

I’ve written about finding your cheerleading squad before, and you can read that post HERE, but I must stress what an important factor it is for our positive outlook – we are not alone.  It can relate to any issue/event we are facing; divorce, weight-loss, depression, self-employment, becoming a parent/carer, grief. 

You may have found like-minded people who can support you already, if not, then prepare yourself.  All of the events I faced throughout my life enabled me to attract people in the same position.  Think about conversations you’ve had with strangers, you may have chatted with a fellow mother as you wait for your children’s swimming class to finish.  You briefly mention that you have anxiety and find out that your stories are very similar.

When I started my holistic health business back in 2008, I was amazed at how many single mothers I had on my client books.  It was like we all gathered in the same spot.  These ladies have become firm friends, and we have supported one another through divorce, life as a single parent, and getting back out there.

Guest blog: The Ghost of Anxiety by Gloria McBreen

I am honoured to introduce my guest blogger, Gloria McBreen, who is a freelance article writer, blogger and teacher.  You can find Gloria on her website or via Twitter @GloriaMcB

 

10 days in The Valley of Chamonix with my family. A spacious two bedroom apartment overlooking an array of snow capped peaks and a child friendly balcony with a breathtaking view of the magnificent Mont Blanc – poetically described by Percy Shelley as ‘The Mountain that Holds the Spirit of Nature’. Wow!

For my family, hiking in the Alps is the most desirable holiday. We’re not keen on spending our quality time lying on a baking hot crowded beach. The hiking boots and a picnic in a backpack is what give us pleasure. Our time for complete relaxation, absorb a mega boost of vitamin D and an opportunity to rejuvenate the soul.

Smile With The Stars

On the 12th December 2010 my cousin, Lee Johnson, went to sleep and never woke up.

Lee died from SUDEP (Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy) at the age of 24.  He was an incredible person who lived his short life to the full.  As a child, he played for Leeds United youth team alongside James Milner, a position he had to give up because of his condition.  He continued to play for his local team and was also an outstanding cricketer. 

His passion for sports was well known.  Lee had successfully undergone a soccer training assessment course which was to be the start of the next stage of his life - as a soccer coach on the West coast of America.

His death touched so many people.  Neither Lee, his parents Simon and Vicky or his sister Becky knew that Epilepsy could take a life.  Following Lee's premature passing, a campaign to raise awareness of Epilepsy and reduce the stigma surrounding the condition was launched.

List Writing For Pleasure - It Is Possible!

December is upon us, and the frenzy of festivities has begun.  My children have told me what they would like this year via lists that I found stuck on the fridge!  It appears my obsessive list writing disorder has rubbed off!

Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without an array of lists.  There's one for the food shopping and one for the gift buying.  Then we have a name and address list for sending Christmas cards and even a packing list if you are lucky enough to be jetting off to sunnier climes this winter.

A list is a helpful tool to keep you on track with jobs, tasks and anything else that fills your brain on a day to day basis.

As a single mum who runs her own business and writes in her spare time (whatever that may be) list writing is what keeps me organised and calm.  If it's not on the list, then it doesn't get done!

How to be Thankful Every Day of the Year

Being thankful is a full time challenge.  When I was building my life back up following my divorce I spent a lot of time thinking about all the things I was thankful for.  It was tough.  Those days were very dark and finding a sliver of hope needed work. 


Photo courtesy of Nurture Store
 

Ten years later I find it easy to be thankful every day.  Each evening my children and I sit down to dinner and we go around the table asking what our best and worst things are of that day.  This is also a wonderful way to find out what's going with your family.  I've discovered test results and arguments with friends this way (teens can be so guarded!)  They feel safe to voice their concerns as part of their 'worst' bit and we can discuss it as a family.  We then turn this into a positive by saying what our 'best' thing was.  This could be a simple as a sunny day or as monumental as an A* exam result.

Journaling is one of my favourite self-help tools, and jotting down three things you are thankful for can do so much for your well-being.  I write my list just before bed. Last night I wrote:

How To Give Yourself a Spring Clean

The last of the chocolate Easter eggs have been devoured, the lazy bank holiday is behind us, and now it's time to crack on (no pun intended) with life, until the Summer arrives.

The sun is trying to break through the grey wash of clouds, the flowers are beginning to bloom and the trees are sprouting new leaves, and yet we still find ourselves nodding off at 2pm - oh, is that just me?

I'm waiting for results of a recent blood test and of course the waiting is always the worst bit.  What could be wrong?  Is it serious?

Every lump, bump and creak of the joints has me thinking the worst.  I am an incredibly upbeat person and I don't normally worry about such things so I began to tick off a health checklist in my head.  I realised there was nothing wrong with me (other than a possible lack of iron) and I needed a few early nights and more fruit and vegetables in my diet.

How to be Mindful at Home and Work

As a holistic health practitioner, being mindful is a huge part of my day to day role.  The relationship between me, the therapist, and my client can only work if I am grounded in the present.  Then and only then can I help them, as my focus is entirely on their needs.

Living a mindful life doesn't have to be a challenge, I practise what I preach by using mindfulness techniques at home as well as at work.  Choosing to include mindfulness in your life is one resolution you will want to keep.

If you are just dipping your own toe in the whole mindful pool of knowledge, you may be wondering how you can implement the techniques in your own home life or work environment.

To Catch a Dream...The Crafty Way

Doing something crafty shouldn't really be called a 'challenge'.  It is in fact a past time I thoroughly enjoy and isn't that half the battle when it comes to setting yourself a goal - that it's something you ultimately want to achieve?

FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Ever since I was a small child I have been fascinated by the Native American Culture, reading everything I can on the history and legends of the different tribes and surrounding myself with emblems and tokens to represent my findings.  When I was ten and still at junior school I wrote my first 'proper' report for my English class on the Native Americans but my friends and classmates wrote about football, horse riding and the like.

One particular tradition I love is the Dream Catcher and so I chose this spiritual tool as one of my crafty resolutions.

Have a Spicy Christmas

Following on from last week's post I can now confirm that the peppermint creams were delicious (and gone in two minutes).  I took a box of them along to a friend's party and they were gratefully received - by the adults as well as the children.

So as I have one culinary success (!) under my belt I thought I would branch out this week and have a go at making...Chutney.

My Dad loves chutney and as I am hosting the big 'Turkey Dinner' this year I thought it would be a nice touch to make him a jar of spiced apple chutney. 

Thrifty Gift Ideas for Christmas

Christmas is an expensive time of year, so this week's post should relieve some of the pressure on your purse strings.

My December challenge is all about making things for Christmas.  Last week I had a go at producing my own cards using Lavinia Stamps - messy but lots of fun!

This week I have been making sweet gifts for my friends, crystal packs for my clients and 'friendship bags' for my children.  Don't panic I have ventured out and purchased the latest PS3 games - heaven forbid I don't adhere to the 'lists' - but I also wanted to create something personal for them.

Have a Faerie Festive Christmas

My mum and I regularly attend the Hobbycraft show at Birmingham's National Exhibition Centre in time for Christmas.  Mum stocks up on her crafty bits and bobs and I carry the bags!  It's become a mother-daughter tradition and regardless of the aching muscles and swollen feet, it's a tradition we both enjoy.

The demonstrators on the stands are quite amazing, many of them can be seen on the Create and Craft Show, they can whip up a stunning card in minutes using embellishments, glitter glue and a partridge in a pear tree.  They make it look so easy.

My mum is of the same breed.  I remember as a child watching her make amazing cakes for customers birthdays and weddings, homemade jams and marzipan fruits.  She then discovered crafting and never looked back, abandoning the oven for Gelli Plates and Distress Inks.

How to Embrace Your Inner Child

So far this month I have looked at how to be grateful, happy, confident and complimentary.  To finish off my October challenge; this week I decided to look at how to be silly!

Picture courtesy of
 http://belldorafashions.com  

Yes, you read it correctly, I said - silly.  Why should the kids have all the fun at this time of year?  Autumn has so many opportunities to be silly and my children have had years to get used to how daft I can be at times.

Let's take Halloween for example, for me this is a magical time and I thoroughly enjoy getting into the spirit (no pun intended) of it.  My house is decorated with cobwebs, giant spiders and skeletons and I am suitably dressed up as a witch to greet any little gremlins who call at my door.

Compliments and Confidence

Paying someone a compliment is such a natural thing to do, you have the ability to make somebody's day.  Why then do we squirm when we are on the receiving end of a compliment?



Image courtesy of emergencycompliment.com

Picture the scene - you have just bumped into an old friend who you haven't seen for a few months and they've lost four stone in weight.  It is an automatic reaction to say...

'Oh Doris, you look amazing!'

Your initial reaction is to pay them a compliment because you are genuinely happy for them and they DO look amazing.

Now let's look at the flip side - you are wearing a new coat that took five months to save for and you bump into a friend, they say...

Being Grateful

Happy October! 

Another month has drawn to a close and we continue to inch ever nearer to snow covered roads and the jolly fat man in the red suit squeezing his way down the chimney stack.

So far I have completed nine month's worth of challenges with a different kind of 'baby' emerging at the end - a blog baby.  My blog has become like a fourth child for me, it needs nurturing , feeding, cleaning and encouraged to grow.  I am Grateful that this has been possible with the help of my readers.

My October challenge is to be 'Happy & Grateful'.  A seemingly easy challenge - or is it?  Can you be happy if you've just been made redundant or were involved in an accident.  Can you be grateful if your outgoings are more than your incomings and you struggle to pay bills?

15 Top Tips for a Balanced Life

Working as a holistic health practitioner means I am privileged to be a part of someone's life journey - that could be a road to better health, much needed relaxation or an understanding ear and support.

I am very vocal about my own life and don't hide the highs and lows I have experienced, in fact I use these experiences to help me be a better practitioner.  I left a physically and emotionally abusive marriage with three children under the age of 5, to say I had hit rock bottom would be an understatement, but I did it, I dragged myself kicking and screaming back into reality.

As I recovered and tried to find myself I learnt how to laugh and smile again, I learnt from others how to interact, trust and love again.  It's quite incredible how much we do learn from those people that surround us on a daily basis.

New Beginnings - Learn a new skill from home with E-Learning

I love September.  Not only because the air is crisp and the leaves turn a beautiful colour, not because I can dig out my big jumpers and hide the excess flesh which has been on show all summer, but because the air is full of new beginnings.

Kid's return or start school, college or university and the shops are full of gorgeous stationery to accommodate their needs - my idea of heaven.

My challenge for this month is 'To Learn Something New' and there really is no better month to start this in.  I have a bucket list the length of my arm of what I would love to learn; photography, Italian, painting, knitting...the list if endless.

Holiday Blog Tour #5 - A Girl's Getaway

What a busy month August has been, I am never happy when my children go back to school as they are such wonderful company, but after our hectic month's challenge I think sitting with my feet up sounds fabulous!

For the final week of August and the last Blog Tour I was able to sneak away for a couple of nights with just my daughter.  I love all my kids and we have had an amazing summer but to have some mummy-daughter time is quite precious.  I left the destination up to her and thankfully she chose the walled city of York in North Yorkshire (and not Milan or Paris as my budget may not have stretched that far!)

A girlie trip is very different to a family holiday

Holiday Blog Tour #4 - City Breaks

Who said a city break had to be for couples looking for a romantic getaway?

Don't get me wrong, as we sat on the train heading to London we were surrounded by doe eye'd lovers, but it certainly didn't deter this single mum and her band of teens.

There are plenty of cities here in the UK for us to choose from for an overnight stay, each one offering it's visitors a wealth of historical sights, attractions and hotels. 

If you are planning a trip around the UK or visiting us from afar, take a look on Wikipedia for an impressive list of cities; Bath, Birmingham, Cambridge, Leeds, Manchester, Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Nottingham, Sheffield, York, Wells...these are just a few from an extensive list which also covers Scotland, Wales and Ireland.