Stop Comparing Yourself to Others #SelfLove

At the start of the year, I was a woman on a mission. 2017 was going to be the year I got my mojo back, the year I would feel normal again, and the year I would dedicate to the personal development of my mind, body, and soul.

I’ve already made positive progress towards nurturing my mental and physical health. However, during my mindfully-infused sessions where I take the time to learn and grow, I’ve noticed an uncomfortable trend – comparison. We all do it, but it’s in varying degrees of intensity. I’ve often wished that I could live in a warm country like my hugely successful cousin, Becky. Or that I drove a super sexy Land Rover Evoque like my bestie, Liz. These are the kind of comparisons that are merely fleeting thoughts rather than crippling destruction for our self-esteem. I love these thoughts because they shape my ambitions. I want to earn enough to buy a lovely car, and I want to travel to interesting places.

In January I bought a

Turn Stress Into Something Positive #Stress #Wellbeing

We’ve all experienced those days or weeks that wipe us out.

As we become bogged down by work, family life and a hectic social scene, we may begin to forget certain things such as a friend’s birthday or to cancel a hair appointment. Neither of these scenarios are life threatening and certainly shouldn’t tip us over the edge, but when we take too much on, the cracks begin to show.

Stress is a part of who we are. We deal with pressure, deadlines and multi-tasking regularly.

There have been many books and articles written on the benefits of a certain amount of stress in our lives. It can keep us on our toes, motivated to succeed and help us focus on an important task.

However, regardless of whether we believe that stress is good or bad, it can still have a detrimental effect on our health and wellbeing.

When we deal with an excessively stressful situation our body produces adrenaline and cortisol to help us deal with the threat – this is our fight or flight response. 

How to Calm a Busy Mind

January certainly started with a bang for me.  We are two weeks in (how fast has that gone) and I have already hit the number one spot on Amazon with my non-fiction title, How I Changed My Life in a Year  Anyone who is a regular reader of my blog will understand when I say ‘thought’s become things’.  Oh yes, I’m thinking exclusively about successful book sales and hopefully bringing more of it to me!

Next week is the release date for the second book in my young adult fantasy trilogy so I’ve been working hard on publicity and dealing with the fiction side of my writing business.  I am also hosting a vision board workshop, attending a meet the author event and a blogger/author meet up, doing a radio interview (it’s true! I’ll share the link on my blog when it’s over), and I’m an exhibitor and speaker at the It’s Your Life West Midlands^th January. 

Phew, busy month.  When I found this meme on Facebook it made me laugh out loud because I was pulling that exact face when I saw it.

Maybe you feel the same when you are busy? With so much going on it does feel like you have a million tabs open in your brain.  I tend to panic if my computer has more than three pages open at any given time.  If you are starting to feel anxious about all the half-finished projects or the ever increasing to-do list then panic not – I am here to share my plan of action.

Positive Thinking Series - How to Have a Good Day

Last week I talked about not having to be perfect, you can read that post HERE.  It leads me on quite nicely to this week’s post; how to have a good day. 

Not having to worry about being perfect 24-7 helps us to go with the flow and relax our outlook on life.  I attend a creative writing class every Monday evening, where I have to read out my work to the group.  When I first started, I was terrified that my writing wasn’t perfect, and I would be laughed out of the class.  What I failed to realise, my fellow students are in the same position, we all want to improve on technique and find new ideas.  I relaxed, and suddenly my writing improved and I even got a few belly laughs from my homework piece – it was a good day!

We very often forget to remind ourselves of all the good stuff in our life.  It’s human nature to dwell on the negative rather than focus on the positive.  Of course, when we linger on the negative talk this only increases the negativity we attract into our daily life.  My favourite quote is ‘thoughts become things, pick good ones’.  I try to live by this mantra.

5 Tips For Releasing Anxiety

After having my daughter, thirteen years ago, I haemorrhaged and had to have a blood transfusion.  It was during this time I discovered I was in the A+ blood group.  Over the years that followed, I began to understand how much my blood type impacted on my life. 

According to the research of Dr. Peter J.D’Adamo, for his book Eat Right For Your Type, the ability to reverse stress and its negative effects lies in our blood type.  For me, this means that I react to the first ‘alarm’ stage of stress.  My adrenals become super-charged, producing anxiety, irritability and hyperactivity.  My immune system gets weaker, and my nervous system becomes more sensitive.  I then become unable to fight infections.  As a Type A I have a more tightly wired system – in blunt, I bottle up all my anxiety! 

How to Stay on Track with Your Goals by Using a Daily Practice.

The majority of our New Year Resolutions, goals and aspirations fail because of a number of reasons; a lack of planning, not being fully committed or setting ourselves unattainable challenges.

It’s like we purposefully set ourselves up for a fall.  We don’t have to operate in this way.  Setting a challenge that may test us can be liberating and life changing.  Writing my book, How I Changed My Life in a Year taught me that.

Yes, we all scribble down a list of changes we want to make each year, and yes, be the end of the third week many of us have abandoned them.  I heard on the news this morning that today is the day our weight loss ambitions are discarded and we attack the biscuit tin!  If we looked at that list for a moment, we might see the reason:

What's Your Power Word of the Day?

Last week I talked about leaving behind the rigidity of goal setting to allow for the relaxed beauty of ‘flow setting’.  You can read that post here.

Today I want to introduce you to a new motivational past time that I stumbled upon whilst writing up last week’s post. 

 

It’s no secret that I adore journaling.  My home and office are full to the rafters with pretty notebooks, matching pens and folders.  ‘My name is Shelley and I am addicted to Stationery!’

So, as I spent a luxurious hour on Pinterest, my ‘super-stationery-senses’ were activated when I found a link to the seaweedkisses blog.  Michelle’s beautiful page is dedicated to her passion for journaling.  As well as sharing her tips, she invites us to take a sneak peek into the notebooks, journals and organisers from people all over the world.

Before I go on, I want to set the scene of just how excited I was to find this site.  First of all, let me ask you a question.  Who has watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)?  That’s the one with Sean Connery in it.

No Need For Goal Setting - Try 'Flow' Setting Instead

Normality has returned to the Wilson household (well, as normal as you can get with three teenagers under one roof!)

We all shuffled back to school, college and work this week with as much enthusiasm as a wet mop.  I’m not surprised about the kids – that comes with the territory, but I’m a different story.  I love my job very much and yet I returned with a melancholy aura.

 

My evenings aren’t much better.  At the end of last year, I would finish work to do my household chores.  I’d feed the kids, clean the fish and then settle down in front of my laptop to bash out a chapter or two and tackle an article or blog post.

 

Instead, I find myself staring at the wall with a bewildered expression plastered to my face.  It’s not writers block.  I know this because my head is crammed full of story and blog post ideas that scream at me with every waking moment (thank goodness for post-it notes!). 

 

It finally hit me at 2am the other morning as I tossed and turned in bed and eventually turned the light on to empty my thoughts onto paper.  I’ve been so busy organising my blog content to help motivate my readers that I forgot all about setting my goals!

 

I feel like a balloon let loose in the sky and is floating aimlessly.  That perfect quote, ‘a dream without a plan is just a wish’ is on repeat in my brain.

Sink or Swim? How to Handle the New Year.

At this time of year I feel like Kate Winslet's character from the movie, Titanic.  It's that moment when Rose and Jack are clinging to the railing of the doomed ship, with seconds to reflect, before being sucked into the icy depths.

The New Year feels similar.  I'm clinging on to the old year, full of its adventures, loves and losses and wondering if I'll survive what's to come.

Just like Rose, I hold my breath and kick like crazy for the surface.  What I find each year never fails to amaze me.  I learn new lessons, meet new mentors and discover a little bit more about myself with each passing moment.

To be able to cling on so hard to the back of my ship I need to add a little structure into my life.  Writing my book, How I Changed My Life in a Year taught me the importance of planning.  Nothing changes unless you make it happen, and to do this you need to sort through your thoughts and catalogue them in the best way for you.

Every new year I ask myself two questions:

How to be Thankful Every Day of the Year

Being thankful is a full time challenge.  When I was building my life back up following my divorce I spent a lot of time thinking about all the things I was thankful for.  It was tough.  Those days were very dark and finding a sliver of hope needed work. 


Photo courtesy of Nurture Store
 

Ten years later I find it easy to be thankful every day.  Each evening my children and I sit down to dinner and we go around the table asking what our best and worst things are of that day.  This is also a wonderful way to find out what's going with your family.  I've discovered test results and arguments with friends this way (teens can be so guarded!)  They feel safe to voice their concerns as part of their 'worst' bit and we can discuss it as a family.  We then turn this into a positive by saying what our 'best' thing was.  This could be a simple as a sunny day or as monumental as an A* exam result.

Journaling is one of my favourite self-help tools, and jotting down three things you are thankful for can do so much for your well-being.  I write my list just before bed. Last night I wrote: