Are You a Confident Person? #MondayBlogs

Are you a confident person?  I have fleeting moments where I am one-hundred-per-cent certain of myself, but equally as many days when I feel unsure and anxious.  Wouldn’t it be lovely to wake up every day full of positive energy?

During my teens and into my adult years, my dad instilled in me the art of ‘acting the part’ when it came to confidence.  He would often tell me to “walk tall with your shoulders back, chest out, and your chin up.” 

Act the part.

It does work.  I have acted confidently on numerous occasions and tricked myself into believing it by using my dad’s sound advice.  When I took part in my first solo holiday in 2006, I was complimented by our tour guide for looking like a seasoned traveller.  When I walked into the bar to meet her for the first time, she had assumed I wasn’t part of her group of singles because I looked so confident.  She went on to tell me how she could normally spot a new solo traveller because they looked frightened to death and often rounded their shoulders or crossed their arms.  I let her in on my secret – I was petrified when I walked into that bar but my dad’s words were echoing in my mind and so I stood up tall and proud. 

Why We All Need A Cheerleading Squad

As an outgoing and fairly confident woman, I have recently found myself hiding away and sulking – yes, sulking – over a health issue that has taken me by surprise.  I thought only kids had the sulky genes but apparently not.  It appears that I can sulk with the best of them. 

Any health problem can cause anxiety to arise.  Even a common cold will make everything you do seem that much harder. When your body begins to tell you to slow down, you need to listen – I didn’t. 

I have always taken on any task, challenge and goal with enthusiasm, but I’ve also taken them on alone.  It’s a trait that gets me into trouble with my friends and family, as they are so eager to help, and yet we all do it.  Asking for help can sometimes be harder than the actual challenge itself.  Why is that?

Top 5 Tips to a More Confident You

Have you ever been on a diet?  You feel determined and inspired for that first week or two, and maybe even a little motivated by the initial 3lb weight loss, but just one small thing can undo all that hard work and you end up heavier than you were before you started.


Confidence is a lot like dieting.  It is a delicate balance to maintain that confident persona and one small thing can tip the scales.

I was an incredibly confident young girl, always eager to volunteer, loudest in my class and life and soul of the party.  I seemed to have an endless supply of confidence and energy.

This was stripped away from me over time by a very clever individual.  My ex-husband didn't go all Rambo on me and break my spirit in one go, he took his time and gradually chipped away at my confidence and self-esteem until there was nothing left of the old me.

It's a Matter of Perspective

When people ask me what I do for a living I tell them I run my own business, 'oh how lovely,' they say, 'what type of business?'  When I tell them it's a holistic health spa for women, I see a faraway look appear and their eyes glaze over.


I'm sure they don't mean to tune out, but when I mention 'holistic' or 'alternative' people seem to automatically jump to the same conclusion.  They believe I spend my weekends running bare foot through a meadow of grass with a crown of wildflowers and a dress made of wheat.

Even my dad thinks I dance naked in my back garden when it's a full moon - I assure you, I don't and I'm more than sure my neighbours are relieved at that.

I recently launched a range of Workshops 4 Women, to be held at a local venue.  This is a huge step forward for my business and one I am very proud of.  Getting bums in seats is the next hurdle I face, but I will take this challenge on with determination. 

How To Think Outside The Box

Our brain is very complex and a single thought is enough to re-wire it.  Thinking outside the box can help us be more creative and improve our well-being.  'Thoughts become things - pick the good ones' is a favourite quote of mine and an affirmation I try to use daily.



Taken from Pinterest

It really is as simple as thinking happy thoughts to be able to shift a bad mood or change a situation to your advantage and yet millions of people get stuck feeding negative thoughts and attracting more negativity in to their lives.  I saw this in action earlier this week.

Standing in a shop queue on Monday I listened to a conversation between the cashier and a woman with her young son.  'Can't wait for him to go back to school,' she said as her son nibbled on his fingernails, 'school holidays are a nightmare, they get bored and under my feet and I count the days before I can send them back again.'  She packed her bags and departed with her young, thoroughly depressed son shuffling along behind her.

Feel That Fear - Then Step Forward

How many opportunities have you passed up because you were too fearful to try?  I've done this more times than I care to remember and in a way, writing my blog became my unique way of feeling that fear and then taking the next step.

freedigitalphotos.net

I committed to journaling my story as I took on fifty-two challenges last year and knowing I had an audience who would laugh and cry along with me, made facing those fears less overwhelming.

One of my favourite self-help authors, Peter Jones, put fear in to perspective for me very neatly in his book 'How to do Everything and Be Happy.'  He said that if we have those funny, tummy turning feelings then it means something in our life is about to change - it's your choice if you want to step forward and accept that change.  This was all I needed to hear to understand that I was reasonably normal and it was okay to 'feel the fear.'  After reading his book, I began to take more of those forward steps.

How to be Mindful at Home and Work

As a holistic health practitioner, being mindful is a huge part of my day to day role.  The relationship between me, the therapist, and my client can only work if I am grounded in the present.  Then and only then can I help them, as my focus is entirely on their needs.

Living a mindful life doesn't have to be a challenge, I practise what I preach by using mindfulness techniques at home as well as at work.  Choosing to include mindfulness in your life is one resolution you will want to keep.

If you are just dipping your own toe in the whole mindful pool of knowledge, you may be wondering how you can implement the techniques in your own home life or work environment.

How to Silence Your Inner Critic - For NaNo and Beyond

As we approach week three of NaNoWriMo, thousands of people are frantically hammering out a novel at kitchen tables across the globe.

With my children watching over my shoulder and providing an audible countdown, I hit 50,296 on the Nano-a-thon on the 9th November.  It was the most incredible feeling and having my kids jumping around singing, 'mum did it' was, as MasterCard would say, Priceless!

My characters had become part of the family and although I was ecstatic to have accomplished the challenge, I was a little bit sad when I typed that last word.

Fortunately my NaNo draft is only book one of a trilogy so I shall be dusting them all off again for book number two.

Compliments and Confidence

Paying someone a compliment is such a natural thing to do, you have the ability to make somebody's day.  Why then do we squirm when we are on the receiving end of a compliment?



Image courtesy of emergencycompliment.com

Picture the scene - you have just bumped into an old friend who you haven't seen for a few months and they've lost four stone in weight.  It is an automatic reaction to say...

'Oh Doris, you look amazing!'

Your initial reaction is to pay them a compliment because you are genuinely happy for them and they DO look amazing.

Now let's look at the flip side - you are wearing a new coat that took five months to save for and you bump into a friend, they say...