Monday, 22 February 2016

Are You a Confident Person? #MondayBlogs

Are you a confident person?  I have fleeting moments where I am one-hundred-per-cent certain of myself, but equally as many days when I feel unsure and anxious.  Wouldn’t it be lovely to wake up every day full of positive energy?

During my teens and into my adult years, my dad instilled in me the art of ‘acting the part’ when it came to confidence.  He would often tell me to “walk tall with your shoulders back, chest out, and your chin up.” 

Act the part.

It does work.  I have acted confidently on numerous occasions and tricked myself into believing it by using my dad’s sound advice.  When I took part in my first solo holiday in 2006, I was complimented by our tour guide for looking like a seasoned traveller.  When I walked into the bar to meet her for the first time, she had assumed I wasn’t part of her group of singles because I looked so confident.  She went on to tell me how she could normally spot a new solo traveller because they looked frightened to death and often rounded their shoulders or crossed their arms.  I let her in on my secret – I was petrified when I walked into that bar but my dad’s words were echoing in my mind and so I stood up tall and proud. 

I have recently hosted a couple of self-publishing workshops for a networking group of business mums.  These small gatherings are for ladies who would like to write a book about their business.  In the same way, that I published Meditation for Beginners, based on my meditation groups, there is a huge scope for others to follow suit.  The workshops have been well received and become a fabulous brainstorming session.

The one reoccurring topic, however, is confidence in their ability to write and publish.  I can relate to this as I once felt the same.  Putting yourself ‘out there’ is a scary thing to do, especially if you are an introvert.  However, it is also one of the most amazing things I’ve ever done.  My confidence has grown over time and I continue to write without fear.  Self-doubt does rear its ugly head from time to time but I can normally fight it.

Think positively.

It’s important to realise that when we are confident, even if we are simply acting the part, we attract successful outcomes.  I refer to my favourite quote once again, Thoughts Become Things, Pick Good Ones.  Smiling, laughing, and surrounding yourself with positive people helps to keep that negative self-talk at a distance.  I have often blogged about the benefits of keeping a gratitude journal, and it is a perfect tool to help boost your confidence.

Dress with confidence.

I recently blogged about the benefits of colour and how it impacts your mood and confidence, you can read that article HERE.  I’m sure all of you can recall a time when you wore a new dress, or a piece of jewellery, that made you feel self-assured.  That’s the feeling we are trying to match.  Only wear the clothes that fit you correctly and make you feel good on the inside. 


When I sit down to write a book, whether that’s fiction or non-fiction, I always begin with an outline.  This is a process where I plot out the book in full.  I calculate how many chapters I need, write detailed character biographies for fiction work, and list the research I need to do for non-fiction.  When I finally begin to write the book, I know that I’m fully prepared.  This in turn gives me the confidence to complete my task.

As a child, I didn’t take much stock of the quotes my dad used, but as I grew up, and become a huge fan of motivational affirmations, I began to refer to them more and more.  When my dad talks, people listen.  His business phrases also struck home and none more than the 6P’s – Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.  I think he was using this particular phrase in a bid to get me to do my GCSE revision!

Don’t fear the knockback.

Knockbacks happen, it’s the nature of life.  We can be rejected in our love life just as easily as in our career or creative path.  To prevent the inevitable slump upon receiving criticism, it helps to look at the bigger picture.  We can’t control everything.  Knowing that you have survived disapproval in the past should fill you with confidence.  You survived it; you didn’t let it overwhelm or damage you in any way. 

I have the following quote written on a post-it note and pinned to my notice board.  I hope you can resonate with it and use it to release any self-doubts.

“Today I turn over all the fearful projections that I have placed upon myself.

I release all self-doubt and attack today.

At this moment, I choose to let it all go."

Nothing compares to the feeling that being confident brings.  I hope this post goes some small way to help you find your optimistic energy.  Remember to:

  • Act Confident
  • Think Positively
  • Dress to Impress
  • Prepare
  • Release the Fear 

What resources do you use to instil confidence?  Please share your tips in the comments below.


  1. You're right, it's always frightening the first time you publish - I remember the first time I put a book out on Amazon I was terrified at the thought of a total stranger reading it! I already knew I could write because I had been doing so for some time and had had the sort of positive feedback from friends that you know isn't just them being nice, and good feedback from literary agents, but the thought of a total stranger reading my book was a whole different ball game! It must be even harder for some new writers these days who have not had the experience of actually finding out if they've got any talent first. Perhaps that explains why some of the very best 'indies' I have discovered don't seem to realise how good they actually are :)

    I've found the best way of getting over lack of confidence is just to DO IT. Feel the fear, and do it anyway, I think the lady said. :)

    1. Another one of my fav quotes - yes, it was Susan Jeffers who encouraged us to feel the fear, and do it anyway - it's a fabulous book by the way!

  2. You've done it again, Shelley: hit the nail on the head. I love that quote: I wish I'd had it with me last when I led a meditation on the theme of 'letting go'. It would have been perfect. There is a lot of truth in the idea that we can fake it 'til we make it. I often have to remind myself that although I feel like a timid little girl on the inside, to the outside world I'm a competent middle-aged woman. Your dad was a wise man.

  3. To be confident means a lot. It reflects on our interaction with other people a lot. It is important to stay confident no matter what because each of us is unique in its own way. provides with more information. Read carefully and you will see all the beauty of actually being yourself.