Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Positive Thinking Series - You Are Not Alone

The way we think has a powerful impact on our day-to-day lives.  Over the next couple of weeks, I will be looking at alternative thought patterns to inject a little positivity into your lives, and help achieve your goals.

You are not alone.

I’ve written about finding your cheerleading squad before, and you can read that post HERE, but I must stress what an important factor it is for our positive outlook – we are not alone.  It can relate to any issue/event we are facing; divorce, weight-loss, depression, self-employment, becoming a parent/carer, grief. 

You may have found like-minded people who can support you already, if not, then prepare yourself.  All of the events I faced throughout my life enabled me to attract people in the same position.  Think about conversations you’ve had with strangers, you may have chatted with a fellow mother as you wait for your children’s swimming class to finish.  You briefly mention that you have anxiety and find out that your stories are very similar.

When I started my holistic health business back in 2008, I was amazed at how many single mothers I had on my client books.  It was like we all gathered in the same spot.  These ladies have become firm friends, and we have supported one another through divorce, life as a single parent, and getting back out there.

Slimming clubs have the same community feel to them.  Everyone who walks through the door, no matter how much or how little weight they are looking to lose, feels like part of a team.  The groups I’ve attended have become like family.  We support each other beyond the hour and a half in the local community hall, by sharing positive stories via Facebook groups or text messages.

It can be hard to see it, when you are struggling with a problem, you feel isolated from the world and begin to believe that it’s hopeless.  Depression is especially difficult as this can force you to become quite secluded, leaving you with an overwhelming desire to hide away from the world.  It’s at this point that you need help and support.  The encouragement you require can come from your GP, a counsellor, or family and friends.  There are many people who are able, and willing to help you.  It is also when you find out who is up to the challenge.  You need people who can understand the challenge you are facing.  Don’t be afraid to let go of people you once thought would be there for you.  Cheerleaders come and go at various points in our life, and you need positive influences around you, not negative ones.

When I started this blog three years ago, it was my way of sharing a motivational journey with anyone who needed to hear it.  Over the years, I’ve made many new ‘online’ friends, and the blog has grown in readership.  Commenting on, and sharing my posts, makes you one of my cheerleading squad, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. 

When I’m writing my features, I am alone, but when I post my contribution, I like to think that I am helping someone.  If just one person understands that there is a community of like-minded people out there, who understand and care, then I’ve done my job.

I recently had coffee with a friend who, like me, is a single mum and entrepreneur.  She bounded into the coffee shop full of confidence and smiles.  She told me about a new business venture that she was excited about.  Not once did she ask if I thought it was a good idea, or look for validation.  She knew that this project was going to be a success, and she was excited about her five year plan.  Sharing goals with like-minded people gives us a huge boost in our confidence and makes us accountable.  Her enthusiasm was clearly evident, and she knows that I am one of her cheerleaders.  Someone she can call on if she has a bad day or wants to bounce ideas off. 

Think about the people in your life, not just the ones you see every day, but the colleagues and acquaintances that pop in and out.  Remind yourself of their story and see if you can find like-minded groups where you can interact.  Join online forums if you don’t feel comfortable with face-to-face meetings. 

Remind yourself every day that you are not alone.




  1. Great post Shelley. My hardest one is letting go of the cheerleaders who I thought would be there forever. But yes, you're right.... Let then go. They will come and go as I need them and at the right time I suppose. Like Nanny McPhee!! :-)

    1. I totally agree, Gloria. I've learnt who is there for me the hard way over the past couple of months. It was surprising to discover who the negative nellies are lol. Love Nanny McPhee ;-)

  2. great inspirational post Shelley. It isn't easy to think positively just when you need it most - when things aren't good and u are at your lowest. But that, of course is when you need to the most. xx

    1. Thanks, Sue. Yes, when you feel low it can be extremely hard to pull yourself out of it. Hopefully we all have amazing cheerleaders lol xx

  3. When I was feeling glum recently, I had coffee with a friend but didn't tell her everything that was getting me down and she didn't ask. Later that day I got an email from her that simply said 'Know that you are cherished.' Wasn't that lovely?

    1. How lovely. It is always amazing how our close friends just 'get it'. I have a couple of friends who know me that well. I can post upbeat jokes on Facebook and wear my social media mask, but they still know there's something up, and more importantly, they let me know that it's okay.