Thursday, 10 October 2013

10 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Back in March my blog featured in our local paper.  The reporter asked me which challenge I thought would be the toughest - interesting question.  At the time I said October's challenge, to be grateful and happy.

In times of stress and worry, happiness can often be the first emotion we switch off and I see this all too often with my clients.  You may ask yourself, 'how can I be happy when I've got too many bills to pay?'  You may wonder how it's possible to smile when there isn't anything left to smile about.

Watching The Pride of Britain awards the other evening made me smile (and cry).  These amazing people are just the same as you or I and yet despite what 's going on in their own lives they still have a smile and a kind word for everyone.  Inspirational people indeed.

It made me think about why we think we can't be happy and I realised that instead of adding things to our lives in a bid to find this elusive happiness, we actually need to give a few things up...

  1. Give up making excuses - I can't be happy because...STOP!  Tell yourself Yes, I Can be Happy and actually I DESERVE to be.
  2. The need to be in control - Let that go and accept help if and when its needed, people really do want to help you.
  3. Self defeating chatter - We all have that inner voice telling us we are stupid, fat or too old to do something.  Try listening to that voice and then saying, 'thank you for your concerns, I appreciate you are there to help but I Am Safe and Happy to continue doing...'
  4. Negative friends - Vampires are REAL!  I'm not talking about your sparkling, big hair types, but those friends that suck every ounce of your good energy and pour their own negativity down your throat. 
  5. Complaining - Obviously, if you find a severed finger in your soup please do feel free to mention it to your maître de, but otherwise, stop moaning - thoughts become things so only allow the positive, feel good vibes to get through.
  6. The need to impress other people - My dad has a notebook full of inspirational quotes he has collected over many years in business, throughout my life he has fired so many of them at me I feel like a walking inspirational billboard, however, the one that stuck with me was what Eleanor Roosevelt said, 'only with your consent can someone make you feel inferior.'  We can feel an overwhelming need to make people like us and then feel awful when they shoot us down - why?  Try to think differently, say to yourself  'I am who I am, take me or leave me.'
  7. Unhealthy attachments - In the same way our negative friends can suck our good emotions from us, we can also latch on to something (or someone) bad for us which has the same detrimental effect.  Yes I am also talking about chocolate!
  8. Regrets - Never look back, always look forward.  Don't regret something you did just learn from it.  We all did crazy things when we were in our teens and although you may really wish you hadn't had that tattoo of the Wham boys on your bottom, it's a lesson you can pass on to your own children.
  9. Living in the past - Did you know that you concentrate approximately 70% of your energy thinking about your past, 10% pondering on your future and the remaining 20% in the now.  You can't change what's already happened so why worry?  Shift your thinking to live in the moment and concentrate on what you can achieve right now, today.
  10. Waiting - Be honest, how many of you have said, 'I'll be happy when...I meet someone/get that job/move house/publish my book' STOP!  Don't put your life on hold waiting to be happy - BE happy and then the wonderful things you're waiting for will come rushing to your side because you are sending out those happy vibes.
Try and work through the list and see what changes you can make or what you can give up.  After all, don't we all deserve to be blissfully happy.

Just to set you on the way, below are some of my happy thoughts - enjoy xxx

What makes you happy?  What makes you smile?  Do you have another top tip for achieving happiness that you can share with us?  Get in touch, I'd be over the moon to hear from you.



  1. You make me happy my good friend. Thanks. X

  2. What makes me happy? A cup of tea in bed in the mornings, giggling with my grandchildren, warm summer days when I can sit in the garden with a good book, my wonderful feisty daughters, a glass of wine late at night with old friends, a flight ticket for somewhere I've never been before ... life is full of things that bring contentment, if we only remember to notice them.

    1. Thank you for sharing Jo, you paint a wonderful picture of happiness. The little things certainly do count don't they :-)

  3. Knowing people I hold dear in my heart are happy!