Turn Stress Into Something Positive #Stress #Wellbeing

We’ve all experienced those days or weeks that wipe us out.

As we become bogged down by work, family life and a hectic social scene, we may begin to forget certain things such as a friend’s birthday or to cancel a hair appointment. Neither of these scenarios are life threatening and certainly shouldn’t tip us over the edge, but when we take too much on, the cracks begin to show.

Stress is a part of who we are. We deal with pressure, deadlines and multi-tasking regularly.

There have been many books and articles written on the benefits of a certain amount of stress in our lives. It can keep us on our toes, motivated to succeed and help us focus on an important task.

However, regardless of whether we believe that stress is good or bad, it can still have a detrimental effect on our health and wellbeing.

When we deal with an excessively stressful situation our body produces adrenaline and cortisol to help us deal with the threat – this is our fight or flight response. 

Project You - Learn To Let Go

Project You!

Week 5: Learn to let go.

Last time we looked at how self-love must start on the inside, you can read that post HERE. Today I want to talk about letting go of old emotions.

I’m one of the world’s worst for holding on to things from my past. I’ll admit that I’m getting better with age, and having a background in holistic health has certainly steered me down the right route, however, when our past is still impacting on our present then something needs to be done.

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you will have spotted the occasional post about my invisible illness and subsequent depression and anxiety. These are ongoing issues that I deal with in a variety of ways. Yesterday, for instance, I had my first EMMETT treatment, and it blew me away.

Today, I have woken up feeling human again – it’s been two years since I felt ‘normal.' A recurring theme that came up during my treatment was the tension in my neck, shoulders, and back (represents support issues). As a single parent to three teenage children, I guess it’s inevitable that I can feel unsupported on a day-to-day basis.

I’m sure many of you can recall a time when you tried to either ‘fix’ a friend or relative instead of sorting out your own health/emotional issues. I’m great in a crisis and can advise anyone on the perfect course of action, but if I need to turn that support around, I’m often unable to help myself.

The illness and depression have taught me to abandon any hope of being in control. It’s a doomed mission! Instead, I choose to be positive no matter what is thrown at me, and do you know what happens when I take this attitude? I started the process of healing.

Annual Blogger Bash 2016 #BloggersBash

I've been blogging for three years now and I love it! I write this blog as well as a book/writing related blog over on Word Press - you can find it HERE.

The blogging and writing community is fabulous, and I’ve made many new friends through sharing, interacting and commenting on the incredible blogs that are out there.

To celebrate the best bloggers around, Sacha Black and her awesome team launched the Annual Blogger Bash back in 2015, and I’ve very pleased to say that it’s returning this year and looks to be bigger and better than before.

The physical event takes place on 11^th June 2016 in London and tickets can be found HERE. Regular blog readers who are unable to make the event can follow all the fun and frivolity via Twitter or Facebook.

Project You! Self-Love Starts On The Inside

Project You!

Week 4: Self-love starts on the inside.

Last week we looked at abandoning our to-do list, you can read that post HERE.

Today, I want to talk about self-love. It’s a phrase that many of us struggle with and one that I’ve pondered over many times. Last year I joined a slimming group in the hope of shedding the two stone in weight that crept on during the initial months of my ill health. I thought that by losing the weight, I would start to feel better about myself.

Losing weight and feeling fitter and healthier, slimmer and more energetic is a worthy goal but it doesn’t change the essence of who we are. I look in the mirror and still see the dark circles under my eyes, the stretch marks and ‘laughter lines.' Losing weight won’t change that. I just need to embrace everything as a whole – inside and out.

Project You! Abandon the To-Do List

Project You!

Week 3: Avoid Goal Setting and Abandon the To-Do List

Last week we looked at how to stop feeling guilty, you can read that post HERE.

Today, I want to talk about NOT setting goals. Don’t adjust your monitor; I did just suggest that you avoid goal setting – me, the queen of resolutions!

Over the past year, I’ve had to abandon some challenges due to my health; it was upsetting and unnerving as I saw this as a ‘failure.' As the year rolled by, I began to understand the importance of living without a purpose.

My to-do list was, and still is but in a much smaller scale, a great comfort to me. I love a schedule and a deadline, and I find it helpful to run the household events/tasks using a paper diary and calendar.

However, how often have you looked at your to-do list and felt defeated? Not because you haven’t managed to tick off all the tasks but because you find those particular duties hold no meaning. It’s just ‘stuff to do’ instead of activities that drive your real goals forward.

What a Difference a Year Makes

One year ago, my life changed direction. I was fighting with a health issue that not only depleted my energy but caused me pain, anguish, and fear.  To this day, I remain undiagnosed, left with the doctor’s parting remark, ‘we’ll probably never know what it is or why it happened.’ I translated this to mean ‘just get on with it.’

So I did! I chose to take control of my life and health - it was the hardest decision to make but in hindsight, it was the right one. After seven years of hard work, I closed Body & Soul Holistics, my holistic health spa. A small business that had evolved and flourished until I had an eight-month waiting list for ladies wanting treatments.

My clients were incredible and supported my decision, having watched my health deteriorate before their eyes. They were also wise and intuitive about where my life would take me.

Project You! Don't Feel So Guilty

Project You!

Week 2: Don’t Feel So Guilty

Last week we looked at how to stop trying to please everyone else and to take time out for yourself, you can read that post HERE.

Today, I want to talk about guilt. We all carry a certain amount of guilt around with us. It’s healthy to feel a small portion of responsibility or remorse. Telling your kids you can’t afford an ice-cream (because you’re secretly saving for a spa weekend) comes with only a small sliver of shame.

But what about the guilty pleasures? No, I’m not talking about Johnny Depp (for once!), I’m referring to the duvet day you dream about, or that unscheduled pit stop in life when you binge watch all eight Harry Potter films.

Project You! Stop Trying to Please Everyone

Project You!

Week 1: Stop Trying To Please Everyone

My children break up for the school Easter holidays today, and they bounced out of the door this morning with a definite spring in their step (no pun intended!)

If you’re anything like me, you’ll have stocked the cupboards with Easter chocolate and hot cross buns, and there will be a vase of beautiful daffodils taking pride of place on the kitchen table.  Two weeks of family time is something to look forward to, and I intend to use this holiday to mix my own goals with special treats for the kids.

Does that sound horrifying?  Should I spend the next two weeks entertaining my three teenagers, doing double shifts on the cleaning because they are at home and, therefore, making more of a mess?  Maybe I should be slaving over a hot stove to prepare the Easter lunch, or perhaps rushing across the Midlands delivering eggs to my friends and family.

My Open Letter to Depression

Dear Depression,

You have been in my life for far longer than I ever realised, skulking about in the shadows like a malevolent troll.  You slowly depleted my confidence and wiped the smile from my face, and yet all the time I thought I was to blame.  I believed that I was too weak, too boring, and too insignificant and I almost let you win.

You made me feel so lonely that I believed there was an invisible wall around me.  I began to feel discouraged by everything the future had to offer.  You got to me in so many ways; emotionally, physically and spiritually.  I could no longer find comfort in the things that once helped boost my wellbeing.  You cut me off from the beautiful world and laughed as I floundered in the choking fear that tried to drown me.

Maybe it was you that contributed to the physical pains I endure every day.  My muscles scream with every movement.  I ache all the time, I can’t sleep and I embark on moments on self-destruction with my diet, but I think you feed on these debilitating feelings.  You thrive on negative energy and found an inviting home in my suffering.

10 Things That Being a Mum Has Taught Me #Parenting

10 Things That Being a Mum Has Taught Me. 

When I was in my twenties, I was told I had a very slim chance of ever being a mum.  This news was utterly devastating to me as all I ever wanted was to have children of my own.  I believe it shaped my decision to marry an unsuitable man who already had children from a previous relationship. 

Fortunately, I did conceive, and although the doctors told me they didn’t believe I would go full term, my son ended up being two days late.  I then went on to have another two children and would have happily added to my brood had that unsuitable man been more…suitable!

Believing that motherhood would never be mine I was totally overwhelmed when I did finally hold my son for the first time.  That tiny bundle of happiness will be eighteen this year and that terrifies me more than the thought of giving birth. 

So what have I learnt over the years?  Here is my top ten:

Are You a Confident Person? #MondayBlogs

Are you a confident person?  I have fleeting moments where I am one-hundred-per-cent certain of myself, but equally as many days when I feel unsure and anxious.  Wouldn’t it be lovely to wake up every day full of positive energy?

During my teens and into my adult years, my dad instilled in me the art of ‘acting the part’ when it came to confidence.  He would often tell me to “walk tall with your shoulders back, chest out, and your chin up.” 

Act the part.

It does work.  I have acted confidently on numerous occasions and tricked myself into believing it by using my dad’s sound advice.  When I took part in my first solo holiday in 2006, I was complimented by our tour guide for looking like a seasoned traveller.  When I walked into the bar to meet her for the first time, she had assumed I wasn’t part of her group of singles because I looked so confident.  She went on to tell me how she could normally spot a new solo traveller because they looked frightened to death and often rounded their shoulders or crossed their arms.  I let her in on my secret – I was petrified when I walked into that bar but my dad’s words were echoing in my mind and so I stood up tall and proud. 

Real Women, Real Lives - Meet Heather Von St.James, Mesothelioma Cancer Survivor

Real Women, Real Lives

We are surrounded by inspirational women on a daily basis, they are on the television the radio, or they've written the books we buy or the articles/blog posts we read.  It's easy to put a celebrity on a pedestal and desire their lifestyle, power and determination, but we don't need to turn to the glossy magazines, or the big screen, to find inspirational women who can motivate us to succeed.  They live next door, work alongside us, talk to us at the supermarket.

I wanted to highlight these incredible individuals on my blog.  Women who have succeeded on their chosen path, or turned misfortune into positivity.  Ladies who have conquered illness or gone above and beyond to help others and make a difference.  They are your friend, co-worker and neighbour.  I am honoured to be able to introduce a host of remarkable women for my new feature, Real Women, Real Lives.   Women who are happy to share their motivational journey and the inspiration behind their success.  I hope you enjoy this feature, and as always please feel free to leave us a comment below.

Meet Heather Von St.James, Mesothelioma Cancer Survivor.

For many of us, February is a cold and miserable month that must be suffered through to reach the bounty of Spring that follows.  Today, on my new feature, Real Women, Real Lives, I am joined by a special guest who has this February marked on her calendar as an exceptional month.

Be Careful Who You Spend Time With

I spend ninety percent of my time with my three teenagers.  Maybe this explains why I refuse to grow up!  An eternal teenager, trapped in a forty-something body.  The saying ‘you become like the five people you spend the most time with’ is so true.  One of the issues I faced on my road to self-recovery was the annoying ability I had to give my power away.  I would hand myself over to the first friend, boy or tutor who showed an interest.

Times change and I am happy to say that I’m getting better.  Unfortunately, I do slide back to my old ways now and then, but I’m getting there – slowly.

I’m not sure why I do this, why I feel the need to ‘fit in’ and give my power away as if that’s the only way someone would like me.  No doubt, it stems from a childhood issue that I don’t even remember. 

At the end of 2015, I did my closing down ceremony for the year.  A way to switch off the negativity that surrounded last year, and to start 2016 with fresh energy.  One of the most powerful realisations was about friendship.  I’d done it again – given my power away to energy vampires who had stripped me bare and then spat me out. 

With the ceremony over and a renewed sense of wellbeing, I was in a better place to build my new year.  I decided to look closely at who I was spending the most time with and to build on those relationships that matter and release the ones that didn’t offer me anything positive.

I realised how vital it was to my energy levels that my relationships with family, friends, colleagues and even online acquaintances were nurtured.