Getting Help With Anxiety from Harry Potter

As I type this post I should be hanging my head in shame, I have been MIA for several weeks and neglected my beloved motivational blog.  However, instead of the shame, I feel slightly exhilarated and refreshed.

Many of you know that November is a crazy writing month for me, as I partake in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month).  This year I chose to write the first draft of the final book in my young adult trilogy.  On November 17^th, I wrote my 52,000^th word and declared myself a winner!  I adore this competition; it is the perfect platform to keep me one hundred per cent motivated on my writing projects.  If only I could be this motivated all year round!

So as I uploaded my manuscript and watched as my word count was validated, I began to think about my blog content and the topics I want to look at over the coming months.  Confidence, organising your life and looking after yourself are the themes I will be exploring over December and into the New Year.  But, to write about confidence, and being organised, and before I can attempt to look after myself, I needed to do it, live it and become it.

Using Colour Me Beautiful to Boost Wellbeing

If you were to take a look at my wardrobe, you would see a plethora of black fabric.  Skirts, trousers, dresses and tops; all of them are black.  I don’t use my black clothing as a ‘think thin’ statement, and, fortunately, it isn’t because I attend a multitude of funerals, I just like wearing black.  I believe it may have something to do with my passion for the Gothic genre.  I do have the occasional flutter of blue, red and green, but I have to be in the right mood.

During my Resolution Challenge back in 2013, one of the hardest weeks for me was when, at my daughter’s request, I had to give up wearing black for an entire week.  Suffice to say it was highly entertaining and one of my hardest challenges.  You can read the post I wrote about it HERE.

So, when I signed up for a Colour Me Beautiful session with my mum, I was worried that black would be on my no-no list.  Fortunately, I am one of the lucky ones who can get away with it (phew!), but I was surprised at how much colour can change your total appearance.

Will It Be Third Time Lucky?

#NaNoWriMo.  Will it be third time lucky?

In 2013, as part of my resolution challenge, I took part in my first NaNoWriMo competition.  NaNoWriMo, which stands for National Novel Writing Month, is a writing challenge open to anyone, and it entices entries from across the globe.  The task is to pen a 50,000-word novel in 30 days – no pressure!

The 50,000-word target works out to 1667 words per day, every day, for the thirty days of November.  Of course, when you throw in work, family and lifestyle it isn’t always possible to squeeze in 1667 words.  This is where dedication and dumb pride come in. 

When I did NaNo for the first time, I announced it to the world via my blog.  The reason for this was so I couldn’t back out.  It worked, and I hit the 50,000 point by the second week.  I did the same last year, hitting my target in the third week.

Positive Thinking Series - Are you a victim or a survivor?

Over the past six weeks, I’ve shared my Positive Thinking Series.  Last week we talked about how failure was a good thing, you can read that post HERE. 

In the final post of this series, I want to discuss ways of moving forward and not letting your past hold you back.

We’ve all experienced a setback or two in our lives.  Sometimes they are small inconveniences, and other times they are life altering situations.  How you react to these events frames the way your future self copes with other circumstances.

Have you ever listened to someone as they grumble about a physical ailment, knowing that you, or a friend, suffer from the same problem?  We all learn to cope with our setbacks in different ways. However, some people are unable to do this and live a ‘victims’ life instead.  Which would you rather be, a victim or a survivor?

Positive Thinking Series - Failure is a Good thing

Over the past few weeks, I’ve shared my Positive Thinking Series.  We’ve looked at how not to feel alone, learning to believe in yourself, and taking things one step at a time.  Last week we talked about how to have a good day, and you can read that post HERE. 

Today I want to talk about failure.  An odd topic to discuss on a motivational site, however, failing is part of life, and it’s how we deal with this aspect that shapes how we cope with future events and situations.

Many of us shy away from even saying the word ‘failure’.  If you are a parent then failing is a taboo subject, even sports day has changed to accommodate all the physical needs of a child to ensure no-one ‘fails’.  I could argue that a bit of healthy competition is good for the soul, but I think that’s a whole post on its own!

Positive Thinking Series - How to Have a Good Day

Last week I talked about not having to be perfect, you can read that post HERE.  It leads me on quite nicely to this week’s post; how to have a good day. 

Not having to worry about being perfect 24-7 helps us to go with the flow and relax our outlook on life.  I attend a creative writing class every Monday evening, where I have to read out my work to the group.  When I first started, I was terrified that my writing wasn’t perfect, and I would be laughed out of the class.  What I failed to realise, my fellow students are in the same position, we all want to improve on technique and find new ideas.  I relaxed, and suddenly my writing improved and I even got a few belly laughs from my homework piece – it was a good day!

We very often forget to remind ourselves of all the good stuff in our life.  It’s human nature to dwell on the negative rather than focus on the positive.  Of course, when we linger on the negative talk this only increases the negativity we attract into our daily life.  My favourite quote is ‘thoughts become things, pick good ones’.  I try to live by this mantra.

Positive Thinking Series - You Don't Have to be Perfect!

Last week I talked about taking things one step at a time, you can read that post HERE. 

It’s a wise idea to break any goal down into smaller chunks, but this doesn’t automatically make us exempt from sabotaging ourselves further along the path.

To succeed, we not only need a plan, or structure, but we need to be attentive to our needs.  If we don’t nourish our ideas, and indeed ourselves, then we can trip up at the first hurdle.

Being diligent and planning ahead, or putting in the effort when it’s needed, can be the difference between success and failure.

However, being determined could be mistaken as perfectionism.  Could you cope with a setback?  Would you fall apart when faced with a failure?  If you can’t accept that it’s okay not to be perfect, then you may risk creating a huge barrier to achieving your goals.

Positive Thinking Series - Taking it one step at a time

When I started this blog, it was to record the weekly activities of my yearlong challenge.  Fifty two challenges in fact; from weight loss to de-cluttering, and zip wires to novel writing competitions. 

 

Setting such a challenge would make anyone feel overwhelmed, I know I was!  Coping with any change in our life can also feel overpowering, such as quitting smoking, losing weight, redundancy or health issues. They all set up a mammoth task that can feel like it’s too much to handle.

To enable me to succeed in my fifty two challenges, I had to break this huge goal into small chunks.  I took it one month at a time.  January was all about weight loss.  In February, I concentrated on fitness.  March was a creative month, and so on.  Adopting this principle helped me see my goal as more achievable.

Positive Thinking Series - Believe in Yourself

The way we think has a powerful impact on our day-to-day lives.  Over the next couple of weeks, I will be looking at alternative thought patterns to inject a little positivity into your lives, and help achieve your goals.

Last week I talked about not being alone and having a cheerleading squad to help you.  You can read that post HERE.

Believe in Yourself

Self-doubt is a huge problem for many women, myself included.  As soon as you begin to achieve or follow a life-long dream, that little voice inside your head speaks up.  Normally it says something like ‘you’re not good enough’, or ‘everyone will laugh at you’. 

When we hear it we have two options; we can give in, listen to it and hide away, or we can believe in ourselves.  As Susan Jeffers would say, feel the fear and do it anyway.

Positive Thinking Series - You Are Not Alone

The way we think has a powerful impact on our day-to-day lives.  Over the next couple of weeks, I will be looking at alternative thought patterns to inject a little positivity into your lives, and help achieve your goals.

You are not alone.

I’ve written about finding your cheerleading squad before, and you can read that post HERE, but I must stress what an important factor it is for our positive outlook – we are not alone.  It can relate to any issue/event we are facing; divorce, weight-loss, depression, self-employment, becoming a parent/carer, grief. 

You may have found like-minded people who can support you already, if not, then prepare yourself.  All of the events I faced throughout my life enabled me to attract people in the same position.  Think about conversations you’ve had with strangers, you may have chatted with a fellow mother as you wait for your children’s swimming class to finish.  You briefly mention that you have anxiety and find out that your stories are very similar.

When I started my holistic health business back in 2008, I was amazed at how many single mothers I had on my client books.  It was like we all gathered in the same spot.  These ladies have become firm friends, and we have supported one another through divorce, life as a single parent, and getting back out there.

Eight things that being a single parent has taught me

It’s the start of the new academic year, and I’ve spent the last couple weeks stocking up on pens and pencils.  We’ve purchased the new uniforms, shoes and bags, and I’ve tried to muster some enthusiasm from my three children.  It happens every year to millions of families across the world.  Dragging unwilling children from their beds on the first day of school would surely be much easier if you had a tag team. 

 

Imagine the scene: Dad takes the first shift, opening the curtains and coaxing the initial groan, and then mum slides in for the second wave with the promise of cookie crisp in their favourite bowl.  The third round involves both parents, one to whip the duvet back and the other to physically extract the child from their warm, cosy bed.  Bringing back any memories?  But how does it differ if you’re a single parent?  It doesn’t, we just have to multi-task!

 

The prospect of being a single mum never crossed my mind as I drove away from my abusive husband, leaving my home and life behind.  We subsequently divorced, and he saw the children every other weekend if work permitted. 

I believed that, although our marriage had broken down, we could still co-parent and be the supportive focus our children needed as they grew up.  As it happens, this rose-coloured ideal wilted faster than an ice-cream in a tropical climate.

How to find the quiet space you crave. #meditation

The school holidays are almost over, and if you are like me, you’ll have a mountain of holiday washing and grey, rain clouds to thwart any attempt to get it done.

My three children are ready to see their friends, and get back to the scheduled lifestyle we know and trust.  As much as I love the school holidays; the getting up late and pleasing ourselves, after six weeks I begin to crave normal. 

There is something strangely reassuring about a six-thirty alarm call, the scrum for the bathroom, and chatting with my kids over breakfast.  I chase them all out of the door at eight and turn my mind to the jobs I have to do before three o’clock, and the evening routine.

There is one thing I’ve noticed more this summer, and that is the inability to find any quiet space.  I hadn’t realised just how much I craved it.  I was lucky enough to go to Italy this year where we trekked around Lake Garda.  We rushed from ancient building to medieval castle, and then ‘relaxed’ with a crazy hour or two in the pool, followed by a beautiful meal in a bustling Italian piazza.  It was a fabulous week, but it wasn’t quiet. 

Recharging Your Mind, Body and Soul

When I was a child, I longed for the endless summer that held the promise of water fights, sleeping under the stars, and picnics on the lawn.  I don’t remember there being as much rain as we get nowadays, or maybe I’ve repressed that memory over the years.

I’m happy to say that my three children also enjoy the outdoorsy summer activities, and don’t spend six weeks attached to the various electrical gizmos that we have dotted around the house.

The school holidays always felt like an epic adventure, waiting to happen.  Maybe that’s the writer in me, or maybe the innocence of a child’s mind.  Whatever it was, I’ve tried for many years to recreate it, without any luck.

It appears that with the arrival of a mortgage, bills, job and children of my own, any childlike glee over the summer holidays packed its bags and went away.  Until now.