What a Difference a Year Makes

One year ago, my life changed direction. I was fighting with a health issue that not only depleted my energy but caused me pain, anguish, and fear.  To this day, I remain undiagnosed, left with the doctor’s parting remark, ‘we’ll probably never know what it is or why it happened.’ I translated this to mean ‘just get on with it.’

So I did! I chose to take control of my life and health - it was the hardest decision to make but in hindsight, it was the right one. After seven years of hard work, I closed Body & Soul Holistics, my holistic health spa. A small business that had evolved and flourished until I had an eight-month waiting list for ladies wanting treatments.

My clients were incredible and supported my decision, having watched my health deteriorate before their eyes. They were also wise and intuitive about where my life would take me.

My Open Letter to Depression

Dear Depression,

You have been in my life for far longer than I ever realised, skulking about in the shadows like a malevolent troll.  You slowly depleted my confidence and wiped the smile from my face, and yet all the time I thought I was to blame.  I believed that I was too weak, too boring, and too insignificant and I almost let you win.

You made me feel so lonely that I believed there was an invisible wall around me.  I began to feel discouraged by everything the future had to offer.  You got to me in so many ways; emotionally, physically and spiritually.  I could no longer find comfort in the things that once helped boost my wellbeing.  You cut me off from the beautiful world and laughed as I floundered in the choking fear that tried to drown me.

Maybe it was you that contributed to the physical pains I endure every day.  My muscles scream with every movement.  I ache all the time, I can’t sleep and I embark on moments on self-destruction with my diet, but I think you feed on these debilitating feelings.  You thrive on negative energy and found an inviting home in my suffering.