tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post6419582288835840300..comments2024-03-22T00:19:21.467-07:00Comments on Motivate Me!: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others #SelfLove Shelley Wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07513209160436996810noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-67095176034005137162017-02-26T04:51:58.846-08:002017-02-26T04:51:58.846-08:00I couldn't agree more! I compare myself to oth...I couldn't agree more! I compare myself to others all the time, usually with thoughts of "my life would be so much better if I was more like..." or "If I had that too.." and "how come she managed that but I can't?" It's stupid. It's particularly insidious when someone then compares themselves to me, and I spend all my time pooh-poohing the comparison because, for whatever reason, I don't see it as valid, so neither should they. It's daft, isn't it?Icy Sedgwickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11501193571425442406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-26399015293939320452017-02-26T03:06:00.495-08:002017-02-26T03:06:00.495-08:00Joining in a community spirit while writing is so ...Joining in a community spirit while writing is so important. If we support and inspire each other then that benefits all, humans, (not even writers!) are not meant to be solitary, we are meant to be there for each other.If we can achieve that via on-line relationships, and face to face friendships so much the better :)Kyrosmagicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12419835135954477360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-52301504410499154612017-02-26T01:24:07.626-08:002017-02-26T01:24:07.626-08:00Thanks for your comment, Jo. I like to congratulat...Thanks for your comment, Jo. I like to congratulate those friends/colleagues/bloggers who are genuine, but over time I've been able to spot the 'look at me' types and learnt to switch off from their vibes. It's better for my sanity that way! XShelley Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07513209160436996810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-64781472347215048952017-02-26T01:21:15.696-08:002017-02-26T01:21:15.696-08:00Thanks, Sue. I recently found your blog and love i...Thanks, Sue. I recently found your blog and love it, so I'm honoured that you popped in for a visit x I totally agree with your process of writing for the sheer joy of it. Shelley Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07513209160436996810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-62660119692614858542017-02-26T01:19:03.475-08:002017-02-26T01:19:03.475-08:00Thank you, Leanne. I like that you say 'highli...Thank you, Leanne. I like that you say 'highlights' because this is what most of us do, we only upload our best selves to social media, therefore, comparing ourselves will only bring unhappiness. Thanks for sharing.Shelley Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07513209160436996810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-16613966385820754282017-02-26T01:01:39.046-08:002017-02-26T01:01:39.046-08:00I am so guilty of this. I need to focus on myself ...I am so guilty of this. I need to focus on myself and not what others are doing otherwise I'll constantly be disappointed in myself. We're all on our own journey, but it is difficult not to see others' success and see it as your failure.Mind Over Metahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08426909802122138328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-513803212320440732017-02-24T02:13:27.742-08:002017-02-24T02:13:27.742-08:00Hi Shelley I've also written much about self-l...Hi Shelley I've also written much about self-love and also the trap of comparison. Blogging seems to be an area where it is difficult not to compare, especially when everyone is spruiking about their big numbers. I too have left groups or felt dejected but this year I have tried to just write and if people like that's great. If they don't the world won't end. Enjoyed your post. Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond x Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyondhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15418770845484399102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-36878137650413573392017-02-24T00:15:59.994-08:002017-02-24T00:15:59.994-08:00I've written several posts on the fact that co...I've written several posts on the fact that comparing yourself to the highlights of others (on FB, blogs etd) is the worst thing you can do to yourself. You will never measure up and it can be soul destroying. Now I just feel happy for those who are having good stuff happening and if they are too loud and too 'look at me"-ish I unfollow them. Comparison steals your joy every time - or inflates your ego if you're doing better than they are.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-6697377909648258802017-02-22T00:42:55.215-08:002017-02-22T00:42:55.215-08:00:-):-)Julia Thorleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00485301135194085398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-86574196915919047342017-02-22T00:41:11.268-08:002017-02-22T00:41:11.268-08:00I'm going to copy your comment out and pin it ...I'm going to copy your comment out and pin it on my notice board, Julia! I'm guilty of looking around the room during my Pilates class and telling myself off for not being able to reach my toes like the other ladies - that's going to stop! xShelley Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07513209160436996810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-40895723855686813592017-02-22T00:39:19.807-08:002017-02-22T00:39:19.807-08:00Hi, Carol, and welcome! Thanks for taking the time...Hi, Carol, and welcome! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment xShelley Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07513209160436996810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-44752918108204577482017-02-21T07:53:45.417-08:002017-02-21T07:53:45.417-08:00Oh wow, that's great to hear, Ruth. Did you ha...Oh wow, that's great to hear, Ruth. Did you have a go at the questions on my January review? Every month I'm doing a final month post with a few personal development questions tagged on the end - you might enjoy doing them too xShelley Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07513209160436996810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-80385646989318236412017-02-21T07:52:03.330-08:002017-02-21T07:52:03.330-08:00Thanks, Traci. I love how you compare every aspect...Thanks, Traci. I love how you compare every aspect of your life - I do exactly the same! It's not just work, it's motherhood, hobbies, beliefs, etc. Yes, journaling is one of my favourite self-help tools (must be the writer in me!!) xShelley Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07513209160436996810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-22708969647143093222017-02-21T07:50:08.571-08:002017-02-21T07:50:08.571-08:00Thank you so much, Lucy. The blogging communities ...Thank you so much, Lucy. The blogging communities are fantastic for supporting each other. Suzie Speaks (founder of SundayBlogShare) started a FB group called Big Up Your Blog which is still new, but phenomenal for support and inspiration. <br />I love the idea of a FB group challenge!Shelley Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07513209160436996810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-30799980262445972982017-02-21T07:47:04.975-08:002017-02-21T07:47:04.975-08:00Thanks, April. I understand what you're saying...Thanks, April. I understand what you're saying and I agree. I tend to compare myself to the top self-help guru's or an award winning writer! I just need to remind myself that they all started small once upon a time, and, as you so rightly point out, comparing myself to myself is the only way to go. Good luck with your personal goals xShelley Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07513209160436996810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-34893675468617463282017-02-21T07:44:38.875-08:002017-02-21T07:44:38.875-08:00I totally agree, stopping the comparisons is a tou...I totally agree, stopping the comparisons is a tough task, but when we remind ourselves that everyone does it as some time or another, it can help us cope.Shelley Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07513209160436996810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-63337186181386609332017-02-21T07:43:36.957-08:002017-02-21T07:43:36.957-08:00Thanks, Mark. It can be an ongoing struggle for so...Thanks, Mark. It can be an ongoing struggle for so many people. At least by sharing our stories we know we're not alone in this. Shelley Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07513209160436996810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-9271233835101959022017-02-21T07:42:09.384-08:002017-02-21T07:42:09.384-08:00Totally agree, Anne. I believe that as writers'...Totally agree, Anne. I believe that as writers' we fall into this trap because writing is so solitary. We need to ensure that we network and join writing communities to help us connect and not feel so low - or begin comparing our writing to others.Shelley Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07513209160436996810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-19038998069942500292017-02-21T06:50:31.327-08:002017-02-21T06:50:31.327-08:00I'm over from Elena's. Yes, every time I h...I'm over from Elena's. Yes, every time I hear someone comparing like this it makes me crazy. A pet peeve of mine. I don't know why women in particular do this. There will always be people with more or less than us. So what? We each inhabit our own skin.Carol Cassarahttp://carolcassara.com/find-it/#noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-66567809545796290052017-02-21T01:35:47.862-08:002017-02-21T01:35:47.862-08:00I often tell my yoga students not to look around t...I often tell my yoga students not to look around them during class because no one else in the room has their body or their life experience. So why do I find it hard to do this myself in real life? Why am I envious of friends with bigger kitchens, more exotic holidays and apparently easier lives all round? It's ridiculous, because I'm blessed in so many ways, and I'm sure there must be people envious of me. Could it be that, despite my best intentions, I'm only human? Julia Thorleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00485301135194085398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-51961398197936803232017-02-20T09:38:28.398-08:002017-02-20T09:38:28.398-08:00So helpful - I actually wrote your last few points...So helpful - I actually wrote your last few points into my journal to help me to remember them!Ruth Daly Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00153398099673661498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-47611012770127088572017-02-20T09:29:34.407-08:002017-02-20T09:29:34.407-08:00Egads, I'm forever comparing myself (unfavorab...Egads, I'm forever comparing myself (unfavorably, of course) to other people in all ways (as a writer, mother, witch, photographer - the list goes on and on). Sometimes I wallow, and message a couple of good friends to complain, which helps. Other times, just like you suggest, I'll "journal" (quotes because I use a Word document, not pen and paper) about it, and that gives me a little perspective. Love the idea of SMART goals - definitely have to give that a go!internetg33khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12672869878789920528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-46063886736705040052017-02-20T03:08:31.904-08:002017-02-20T03:08:31.904-08:00I agree about Facebook groups. I have joined a few...I agree about Facebook groups. I have joined a few, but I don't interact too much and I find frequent squabbles among members. I wouldn't say they're supportive. I find blogging communities much more supportive and inspiring. Esoecially blogging or flash fiction challenges. If you have the time and energy, perhaps you should start a more supportive facebook group with a simple weekly challenge? I'm sure your blogging friends would take partπ <br />Finally, I absolutely agree, never compare yourself to others, but always try to be better than yourself, that should be our ongoing struggle in life π Thanks for the inspiring and honest post!πLucy Garcia Magaldihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12317574118899104118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-24539084382696370322017-02-20T02:31:37.728-08:002017-02-20T02:31:37.728-08:00Thanks for a useful post.
I don't compare mys...Thanks for a useful post.<br /><br />I don't compare myself to my friends, but to people I hear on podcasts, or to other members of a writing association. I keep telling myself that I should only be comparing myself to myself, but that doesn't always work.<br /><br />I'm giving personal goals a try this year. I've only ever had work goals before and they were always based on what other people wanted from me, not on what I wanted (or needed) to achieve. In a corporate environment it can't be any other way, of course.April Mundayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00147194554101708169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046423565533635938.post-72219329345798387422017-02-20T02:00:18.916-08:002017-02-20T02:00:18.916-08:00Thanks for this. It's something I need to hear...Thanks for this. It's something I need to hear and hear often. It's incredibly hard not to compare ourselves to others. But it most definitely does not help with mental stability/happiness. Thanks again!D.E. Haggertyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06186441050034264058noreply@blogger.com